LOVE!
I am obsessed with reading A Belle in BK’s formspring page. It’s like an advice column with multiple entries every day. Some of the questions leave me with my mouth open:
A friend of mine keep leaving her child with me & BF, the last time she left she was gone for 9 months with guy she seeing. She came back for Christmas-thru New Years. Now she gone. My parents said I need 2 call child services & let them take her. Any advice?
Others make me laugh:
Q: What should I do to be more attractive and successful ??
A: I am not the oracle. i need to know your starting point and what you’re trying to get to, to help. what’s your idea of attractive and success?
I love reading it because she generally gives out really great advice. The best one is when she repeatedly tells her female commenter’s that love is an action. That’s not to say that love is not an emotion, once you’re in love you know it because you feel it, but in addition love is about what we do.
Allow me to explain.
Last Friday, I was with some friends at one of our favorite hookah spots. Sitting around listening to music, eating, and conversing. The conversation turned to our relationships with the opposite sex as it always does. My good friend Dushane, of the post cool, asked me this question; “ how can we ever know that someone is giving you 100% when everyone’s definition of 100% is different?”
He’s right. How would we know that? My response would be: it’s in the actions. Every person is different but once we start knowing who people are we understand what they do to make us feel special. Someone may be a gift giver while someone else loves to cuddle.
I was someone who had no idea how to be in a relationship. I liked to go on dates and have fun with no regards to long term commitment. Once I was in one, I learned a lot about how I express that I love someone. I like to spend time with people. Not in an every single moment, clingy, you’re the only person I ever want to hang out with kind of way. But more like I would rather spend the day together than receive flowers at my job.
I’ve had to learn slowly that just because that’s how I show how much I care doesn’t mean that the person who would rather send me flowers cares any less. These are just different actions. This is what makes things interesting. Getting to know people and realizing they love you just as much as you love them in different ways.
Gary Chapman says there are 5 love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.
What’s yours? Take the quiz then let me know
the Ella project 