Food. Proceed with Caution. August 31, 2010

Can Anyone Put This On a Tshirt for Me?

I remember growing up in the Dominican Republic and going to visit my Grandmother’s house (we call her mama) on the weekends. She was hands down the best cook. I know you probably think your grandmother or your mother makes the best food, but mama can give them a run for their money. Every weekend she would cook and every weekend my family would find me lying down on my back in the kitchen. Why? Because I would want to eat everything! I would eat so much that I could not leave the kitchen and instead would lay down on the floor until everything was digested. This is my first memory of my love affair with food and it’s also my first memory of how food gets me into trouble.

As I got older it wasn’t stomach aches and grandma’s cooking. It was stealing French fries from gentlemen at bars. They thought I was very bold and flirting. I was just hungry. This usually led to awkward conversations about why I didn’t want their number and just wanted some fries. There is also the time I went on vacation with some girlfriends. I noticed one of the guys at the resort just ordered some delicious jerk chicken. “Is that jerk chicken?” I asked. “Yes, would you like some?” he responded. I had a piece of his jerk chicken and he thought he found an island wife. Seriously? Since when does having a piece of chicken equal we’re getting married? I spent the next few days dodging the island man and wondering why I do this to myself.

If I didn’t know better I would get in a van advertising “free delicious food” and never be heard from again. Luckily, I know that would be wrong (and I don’t think there are suspicious vans advertising that in New York). This has been my relationship with food and relationships with food can be very tricky. There’s a thin line between what’s healthy and what’s ooc (out of control).

The first things that come to mind are, of course, overeating or under eating. We all know about eating disorders and how that affects the way a person views themselves. Except, that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about how other people over eating or under eating affected me. It may also affect you and you don’t notice it. It’s the little things. Like your co worker or roommate choosing to have a yogurt and you also decide to have one.

What does food have to do with body image?

For me it started with being around someone who had an eating disorder. I didn’t develop one but I would do everything possible to show that I didn’t have one. That story, however, will be continued tomorrow.

Do you have a relationship with food? What do you think food has to do with body image? Would you get in the suspicious van advertising “free delicious food” too? No? just me? Oh.

Mini Me and Magazines. August 27, 2010

um. I was obsessed with Britney. Don't judge me.

 

I am 13 years old in a car driving down to Florida with my aunts and cousins. They have salsa music blazing from the speakers. I’m really not feeling this salsa music. In fact, I’m pouting and starring out the window because the battery in my CD player has died.  I guess that means no more listening to the backstreet boys. I look around searching for something to drown out the music when my fingers fall on top of a magazine. YM. Does anyone remember that? It was a magazine aimed at American teenagers. No, I wasn’t  American but I was a teenager. I remember reading “say anything” and laughing at all the embarrassing stories printed. Embarrassment has no nationality, completely universal. From that car ride forward I followed YM religiously. What they said to wear and how they said to “talk to boys” was exactly what I was supposed to do. If I was lucky, one month they’ll tell you what outfit would get him to notice you!

This was my teenage bible. Except that I could never put any of the advice into good use. I grew up an inner city kid. So while YM was telling me to put a beret in my hair and try this new cardigan the kids at my school were wearing timberland boots and Columbia jackets. Talk about having an identity crisis. All kids, especially teenagers, want to fit in. It’s also hard to do that when mainstream publications tell you one thing while those around you do another. This is something that you can struggle with all your life. Everyone knows that one person who will do anything to fit in. Even now, at twenty- something I can name a few off the top of my head.

As we get older we trade the YM’s and Seventeen’s for Cosmopolitan’s and Marie Claire. The message changes from “how to talk to your crush” to “how to please him in bed.” Carefully leading us from our insecurities as teenagers to our insecurities as adults. As a teen I didn’t know where I fit in. I suppose it’s somewhere between the Dominican community I grew up in and the magazines I read. I’m sure that’s the case for most people. They are an “in between” of mainstream culture and what happens where they’re from.

This got me thinking about image. The way we view ourselves and the way we’re told to view ourselves. What are you insecure about?What made you accept who you are? Is there something that you still struggle with? For example, my unhealthy love affair with food. No, i’ve never had an eating disorder. No, it’s not that I want to gain weight. What? That doesn’t make sense? It will next week.

Ps. Look at these links just to show the progression from teen mag to adult mag.

A Little Housekeeping August 26, 2010

 

Is anyone there? I know, I know, I really should post more often. I promise I will. I have a lot of things planned. But until then here are a few interesting things.

1) My good friend Angie was kind enough to interview me for her site. It’s really dope and you all should head over there and look around.  http://penhittingpaper.com/?p=3400

2) iVillage ( an online community for women) is looking for 10 outspoken females. All you need to do is send in a 150 word essay and a picture telling them why they should pick you. I had a lot of trouble trying to fit who I am in 150 words but it can be done.  Anyone that’s interested should head on over to iVillage  and apply. You have until september 2nd to do so.

finally,

3) I’m starting a series on body image.  It doesn’t matter if you’re too tall or too skinny or too short or missing an ear. I want to hear all about the way you viewed yourself before and the way you view yourself now. Email me at TheEllaProject@gmail.com

That’s all for housekeeping. I promise to have a real post up tomorrow

xo,

Lari

cook?! I can make a meeaan salad. August 17, 2010

that looks reeeaallly sharp.

These are a few things I’m not very proud of.  Some really shameful things that I should probably keep to myself and not shout to the internet. The key word being ‘probably’ since I am about to reveal two things I’m not very proud of.

First, that my friends refuse to play any board games, card games, competitive games, or whatever other type of game you can think of with me. Apparently, I have the ability to ruin whatever fun anyone is having by being too competitive. I won’t get into it, but there was once an incident involving an adult temper tantrum and cards flying everywhere. You’re probably reading this and shaking your head. I don’t blame you. I’m doing the same.

The second, is that I can’t cook. I am twenty something years old and the only thing I can make with confidence is a salad. Come take a stroll down memory lane with me and my attempts at cooking.

When I was 15 my mom asked me to add salt to the beans she was making for dinner while she took a shower. I looked at the two containers in front of me, one with salt and the other with sugar. I grabbed one and added a pinch of salt.  I did an amazing job except for one minor thing. It was sugar. My mother, not amused, I gave me a lecture about ruining dinner for everyone. Since then, I’ve learned to taste things before adding it to boiling pots.

A year after, I got the courage to make mashed potatoes from scratch. I peeled the potatoes and placed them in a pan to boil. Perfect. Now, my memory is a little foggy considering this was 10 years ago. I remember going to the living room to watch something Jonathan Taylor Thomas (remember him??!) related. I was so enthralled with the television that I did not realize when the entire apartment was inundated in a haze. The smoke was so thick that I crawled (fire safety!) from the living room to the kitchen and turned off the stove. Coughing, I remembered my sister was in the bedroom and I crawled to save her.  Lying on the floor I knock on the door. She opens the door and I see the phone on her left hand. She looks through the smoke and then down at me on the floor.

 

 “ I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to call you back. My sister is burning down the house”

Yes. That happened. Let’s fast forward to my twenties. At 24, I wanted to do something nice for my roommates and decided to make them pasta. The next day, one of my roommates has a doctor’s appointment. There she is informed that she has high blood pressure. She explains, “ no, my roommate made some extra salty pasta last night. I’m sure it will go back to normal.”

Why am I talking about this? Growing up my mom always said that if you can’t cook no one will marry you. The moment someone made an edible meal you’d hear “te puedes casar.” Translation: Now you can get married. I wonder if all Latina girls grow up training to be Suzie Homemaker. If you’re not then are you destined for a life of spinsterhood with your 28 cats? I certainly hope not. Given my track record I’m not even qualified to fend for myself. I have been trying to learn how to cook a lot more lately. Not because I want a husband. But because I refuse to let the kitchen break me down. If all else fails I’ll just end up with a man who loves to cook. Those exist right? Besides, mothers aren’t always right. I hope.

Anyone who wants to teach me to cook? Am I a latin disgrace? Let me know.

Discussing Essence August 6, 2010

Dominicana Zoe Saldaña on the cover of Essence

If there is one thing that I love about today’s world is social media. Often times I hear news from Twitter before any news outlet. Sometimes, it’s complete and utter foolishness. For example, the confirmation that Bill Cosby had passed away. Immediately after there was a message from Bill Cosby, clearly upset, letting  people know via social media that he indeed is alive and kicking (BillCosby: Again, I’m rebuttaling rumors about my demise. But, I’m confirming I have an app).Awkward. Then there are times where real issues come up. One such event is that Essence, a magazine geared towards black women, hired, Ellianna Placas, a white fashion director (cutblog: Essence’ hires a white fashion director, backlash ensues http://nym.ag/b6UXVB).

Online fashion and style site Clutch magazine has an excellent article about Placas being hired. Honestly, I get the uproar.  What does this mean for black women working in the fashion industry? This is a magazine that has historically been held up as the one open door when all other seemed to be closed. However, that is not what I find interesting about the situation. The most interesting part was the comments left on the article. The conversation quickly changed from Essence somehow failing black women and moved to Placas being Latina and whether this made it more acceptable. For the record, Placas is not a Latina and is of Australian decent.

This is a comment left at The Black Snob:

@David Wise There are Black Latinas descended from African slaves the same way that there are Black Americans descended from African slaves and she is not Black.
Latin is a culture not a race, for example there are White Creoles and Black Creoles in New Orleans. J Lo (Spanish Latina, ancestors from Spain) is to Zoe Saldana (Black Latina ancestors from Africa) as Britney Spears (White American ancestors from Europe) is to Beyonce (Black American ancestors from Africa). – Mary

Is this necessarily true? Do Jennifer Lopez and Zoe Saldana have as much in common as Britney Spears and Beyonce? I can think of many ways in which Jennifer Lopez and Zoe Saldana differ. For one, Jennifer Lopez grew up in New York City while Zoe grew up in the Dominican Republic. But they both stem from islands in the Caribbean which means that at its core the family values and culture are very similar. Furthermore, the commenter is mistaken. Jennifer Lopez may have ancestors from Spain but it is also very likely that she has ancestors from Africa. The entire Caribbean has a history with slavery (Christopher Columbus anyone?).  

If the Essence situation where to be happening with a Latin publication the fact that one is lighter than the other would not matter. Because the message being distributed to Latina’s would be the same. We are one. This is what we go through. This is what fits different body types, etc. Don’t get me wrong. There is clear colorism all throughout Latin countries. Even Sammy Sosa bleached his skin because being lighter is considered more attractive. This is not only prevalent in Latin cultures but also within minority groups where one can find people from caramel to dark chocolate in complexion. Although, complexion should not be the reason why a person is right for a job or not.

At the end of the day I believe that there are certain situations that should cross the lines of race and color. If a person is qualified for a job and is sensitive to what they are representing then who cares who they are.  More importantly, it seems that while we outwardly support being more inclusive most of society still believes in certain things being more divisive. This can be applied not only to America but most of the world. I suggest we start learning more about commonalities and the things that bind us together rather that what separates us. Only then we’ll be able to make strides forward.

If you want to check out a really well written article on the Essence debacle head over to Clutch Magazine. They have some really interesting tid bits in the comments section of the article.  Here are some I picked out.

“I questioned that earlier in the discussion, and research leads me to believe that she is Latina. Her being part of the diaspora makes a difference to me personally and I think would be a good move for the mag.” — M

“The Black women’s voice is being silenced in all areas, and we are told that if we speak up we are racists. So now everybody can speak for us and about us but ourselves. If she is a Latina why not go work for magazines for Latinos? Why does diversity always fall on the backs of Black people? So we become diverse, but no one else does and it is Black people who are not being hired. I believe there is more to this story that is being told. Give it 1 to 2 years and Essence will be a multicultural magazine. Watch!”– KC

“White women are taking our men while Latino women are taking our jobs. Almost every store I go into these days have all Spanish people as employees. Maybe the companies are making some kind of profit to hire them, I don’t know. Here’s something I do know, all of a sudden everybody wants a black man. That’s just another form of disrespect and a way to once again, take something from us. If u wanna black man, hang around black women and I’m sure Ms Latino knows that!!! I’m surprised at Essence, they’re doing what everybody else doing… We can’t have nothing , can we?? No other race lets us into their circle without having a motive and we constantly let them in with open arms. Don’t be surprised when Essence Magazine is owned by Latinos and there’s not a black face on any page. That’s how they work… together!!!!! We shouldn’t even be called Black people anymore, disrespected people is a better name!!!!” –V

 

Discuss.